It’s Not Laziness — It’s Executive Functioning

Quick facts

• Executive functioning is a set of brain-based skills that help a person manage tasks, time, emotions, and responsibilities: planning ahead, staying organized, remembering instructions, managing time, controlling impulses, prioritizing, and starting and finishing work.

• Executive functioning challenges often look like a lack of effort: forgetting assignments, not turning in finished work, procrastinating, rushing, losing materials, trouble starting tasks, and underestimating how long things take.

• A teen can understand the material and still forget to turn in the assignment. The gap is in managing the steps, not in intelligence or character.

• Repeatedly calling a teen lazy, careless, or irresponsible can erode confidence and motivation and can turn into learned apathy, defensiveness, and attitude.

• The shift for parents: instead of “Why won’t they do this?” ask “What skill might they still be developing?”

• Colleen Yanez is a National Board Certified Educator with over 25 years of experience working with teens.

Is my teen lazy, or is it executive functioning?

Very often it is not laziness. Forgetting assignments, starting homework late, and rushing work are usually signs of an executive functioning skill gap, not a character flaw.

As someone who has worked in education for over 25 years, one of the most common refrains I’ve heard is some version of this:

"My teen is so smart… but they just seem lazy."

And you have a LOT of evidence for this assessment!

They forget assignments.
They start homework late.
They rush through work.
They say they’ll do something and then… don’t.

From the outside, forgetting assignments and rushing work can look like a motivation problem.

But very often, what looks like laziness in a teen is not laziness at all.

The real issue is often executive functioning.

And understanding the difference can completely change how parents support their teens.

What is executive functioning?

Executive functioning refers to a set of brain-based skills that help us manage tasks, time, emotions, and responsibilities.

Think of executive functioning as your brain’s management system.

Executive functioning helps all of us:

• plan ahead

• stay organized

• remember instructions

• manage time

• control impulses

• prioritize tasks

• start and finish work

(Know any adults that struggle with these skills!?!?!)

When executive functioning skills are working well, life runs more smoothly.

When executive functioning skills are underdeveloped or overwhelmed, even simple tasks can feel surprisingly difficult.

Why does executive functioning look like laziness?

Executive functioning challenges often look like a lack of effort.

For example, a teen with executive functioning challenges might:

• forget assignments even though they understand the material

• forget to turn in completed assignments

• procrastinate until the last minute

• rush work and make careless mistakes

• lose materials or forget directions

• struggle to start tasks

• underestimate how long something will take

To adults, parents and teachers alike, an executive functioning challenge can appear as though the student just isn’t trying.

But what’s often happening instead is that the teen’s brain is struggling to manage the steps required to complete the task.

Forgetting, rushing, and procrastinating are not a character flaw.

Those behaviors are an executive functioning skill gap.

What happens when a teen keeps hearing they’re lazy?

When teens repeatedly hear that they’re lazy, careless, or irresponsible, even if in the distant background, they start to believe it.

Over time, many teens begin telling themselves things like:

"I’m just bad at school."
"I always mess things up."
"I can’t do anything right."

Repeated executive functioning struggles can create repeated failure experiences.

And that can slowly erode their confidence and motivation which can then turn into learned apathy, defensiveness, and–everyone’s favorite–an attitude.  

What should I ask instead of “Why won’t they do this?”

When a teen is struggling with school responsibilities, it helps when parents look at how they’ve been approaching the issue and then trying something new.

Instead of asking:

"Why won’t they do this?"

Try asking:

"What skill might they still be developing?"

Asking what skill a teen is still developing moves the conversation away from blame and toward problem-solving.

Because more often than not, the issue isn’t laziness.

The issue is executive functioning.

And with the right tools, support, and patience, executive functioning skills can grow.

Colleen Yanez is a National Board Certified Educator turned executive functioning coach with over 25 years of experience working with teens. If your teen struggles with organization, homework, or follow-through, executive functioning coaching may help.

Learn more about Colleen &Key Coaching here →
thekeycoach.org